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Mango.

Three different things were written on three different pieces of paper. They were:
-Mango
-Queen Elizabeth
-Español
What do they all have in common?







Answer: They were each written on a piece of paper.

One day, a clock with three hands breaks, so a repair man comes to replace each of its hands. After replacing the second hand, he stops and does not continue to fix the clock. Why?






Answer: The second hand was the last one on the clock.

I saw THREE registered users on at the same time!!! (Including myself)!!!

Edit: Make that four if you include bots.

Why do you all post so strangely? I mean, for one, you just bombarded this forum with posts right after the weekend, so I didn't get much of a chance to reply quickly. I even was waiting for you all to post on Sunday and Saturday and there wasn't much posting at all until Monday came. This isn't even the only bizarre thing you all do.

I post when there is stuff to post about.

Ah, I see, so when I posted a bunch, you waited a couple of days to notice what I posted about.

Santa Claus is skeptical of whether or not Chuck Norris is real.

Chuck Norris knows when Santa Claus is sleeping.

Once, Santa Claus put Chuck Norris on the naughty list by accident... He's checked it twice every time since.

The elves sing about Chuck Norris coming to town.

Santa gets his coal from Chuck Norris.

Scrooge actually didn't change his ways after the ghosts of Christmas past, present and future visited him, but the part with Chuck Norris was too gruesome to keep in the story.

Santa Claus gives Chuck Norris milk and cookies.

Chuck Norris doesn't get a present for Christmas: he's always too far in the future.

Chuck Norris rides in a two-horse open sleigh.

Chuck Norris has a happy Christmas and a merry New Year.

In Chuck Norris' frame of reference, New Year day is a definite point of time.

Special Relativity isn't actually that special: like most things, it doesn't apply to Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris' Christmas tree didn't fit in his house once, so he made the surrounding space's geometry hyperbolic to give it more space.

Everyone thinks Santa's sleigh is powered by magic because they don't see Chuck Norris riding in the back seat.

Chuck Norris knows whether Santa Claus has been naughty or nice.

Chuck Norris gave Rudolph his distinctive red nose.

exfret wrote:Santa Claus gives Chuck Norris milk and cookies.
...
Chuck Norris knows whether Santa Claus has been naughty or nice.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barber_paradox

A Random Player wrote:

exfret wrote:Santa Claus gives Chuck Norris milk and cookies.
...
Chuck Norris knows whether Santa Claus has been naughty or nice.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barber_paradox

Hrm... perhaps that's why neither Santa nor Norris shaves...